Chasing a rainbow

God, Uncategorized

rainbow

First of all, I must declare that I love rainbows. This post isn’t slamming on them. But I’m finding that looking for answers to health problems can be like chasing an elusive rainbow.

My health has been really up and down for the past year and a half. No conclusive answers yet. There are lots of tests that I’ve done but nothing has yielded anything definite. I’m on this road trying to navigate through trusting God and searching for answers. He made me and knows exactly what is going on with my whacked-out neurological system. And yet the answer isn’t clear. While I’m trusting Him to lead me, sometimes I just want answers. Sometimes I chase hard after the rainbow looking for the prize, a diagnosis, at the end of the rainbow.

Sometimes I feel at perfect peace with my limitations. Sometimes I am tired of chasing the rainbow. Sometimes I look into various google searches for the elusive prize.

Most of the time I’m somewhere in between, and I just have to declare the truth aloud to myself. My body isn’t really mine, it’s God’s. He made it, He knows every nuance about it, and I can trust Him to provide answers when the time is right. I don’t have to tire myself and expend all of my resources or obsess on finding a diagnosis.

Now this I know:
    The Lord gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
    with the victorious power of his right hand.
 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall,
    but we rise up and stand firm.

Psalm 20:6-8