Prayers for healing and health

suffering

If you have every prayed for healing, and not received physical wholeness, you are facing a quandary.  There are many assumptions that flow from not receiving full healing. My previous post doesn’t take you through all of the assumptions, only straight to my acceptance. However, I believe that it’s important to de-bunk these wrong ideas that I assumed about my prayers not being answered the way that I wanted.

I have prayed, my family has prayed, my friends have prayed, and we have done as James 5:13-16 instructs Christians who are sick. We continue to pray for complete healing in my body, yet I’m not fully healed. We’ve prayed for many months, and I have no doubt that most of us praying actually believe that Jesus Christ performs healing miracles. We believe He raises the dead back to life, He makes the blind see, and the mute hear. So when our prayers aren’t answered with a “Yes” it caused me to feel several things:

1. I believed that I must not have enough faith.

2. I felt forsaken and unloved by God. It felt as if I was completely unheard by Him.

3. Deep down I felt that I must have done something wrong to be afflicted physically.

I can’t tell you that I don’t think of these things at all anymore, but something about the truth of hearing Isaiah 55: That God’s ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts are not my thoughts resonated deep in my soul. This truth corrected my assumptions when I heard this Scripture related to our prayers for healing, and Pastor Brian answered the BIG QUESTION we all have when God doesn’t heal our loved ones. (See this post to link to Pastor Brian’s sermon)

I still struggle. Sometimes what I know in my head to be truth about God doesn’t match up to my feelings. But today I know, deep in my soul, that God loves me and hears my prayers, even when I’m not completely healed. He’s moved and listens to our prayers. You and I can trust His heart when we don’t understand His ways.

Daily bread and health

Uncategorized

The overall theme of my life right now is daily bread.

bread

Do you ever feel as if you don’t have enough time/energy/resources/health to accomplish your daily plans?

I have felt that way and struggled for the past few months because of health challenges. I have often felt frustrated and incompetent because my body doesn’t always cooperate with my plans. With my health situation, I am not sure from one day to the next if I’ll be able to follow through on my daily plans. This can be discouraging and sometimes makes me downright angry. Until a couple of months ago.

In February we visited our friend’s church and ironically, the sermon was about healing. We were reminded that God does hear and answer our prayers for healing. However, He doesn’t always answer the way we want Him too. I don’t want to sound irreverent, but uggggghhhhhhhh. Sometimes He doesn’t answer the way we want. He still loves us in spite of that and His ways are higher than our ways. When He doesn’t answer our prayers with a complete healing, we can trust Him for our daily bread.

Here’s what I mean by that: Like the Israelites in the desert, He lovingly supplies what you and I need each day. Not what I think I need, but what He knows I need.

This truth from Pastor Brian’s sermon has coincided with a study that I’m doing on the Old Testament tabernacle in the wilderness. Just so happens that I keep going back to the subject of daily bread and manna that God provides for His newly freed people.

I am still facing the same physical challenges and health issues, but I’m not so frustrated and angry for the past couple months. I am trusting God for my daily bread. On the days when I feel like it’s only a few crumbs, I’ve started asking God what does He want me to do with the bits that He’s provided for that day.

If you have thirty minutes, check out this great video of the sermon that I mentioned above.

God’s Plan for Your Life Sermon  Click on 02.03.13 Healed

You’ll be glad that you did!

Photo credit: Vegan Richa  Richa is one of my favorite food bloggers. Beautiful pictures with delicious vegan food.

Thoughts

suffering, truth

Most of us have experienced things in our life that cause us pain. I have endured, survived, and thrived after pains, joys, traumas, and the normal ups and downs that are common to man.

For many years I struggled to make sense of traumas in my youth, abuses to me and to people I love. I agonized over trying to make sense and reconcile two realities that I know are true: God is love, and He was there; and there is real evil in the world and there are people who do horrible things.

I can’t tell you exactly when or how it happened, but one day I suddenly realized that I no longer was pained over these two coexisting realities. Glorious freedom and peace ensued. It’s not that I had it all figured out, but just that I made peace with the fact that I would never figure it out.

However, I am faced with the frustration of this type of thing again with physical limitations in my health. I do know that God is love. He is fully aware of my plight and cares for me. At the same time I am not fully healed. This causes me to feel as if my brain is on overdrive at times.

I know that you and I cannot make sense of evil and sickness and suffering in the world and the truth that God is real, He is present and He is all-powerful. My assignment for myself this week is to stop thinking so much and to stop trying to make sense of it all.

Does it ever feel like your brain looks like this? Mine sure does!

Does it ever feel like your brain looks like this? Mine sure does!

Instead, I will meditate on truths that are real and unchanging. God is good.

Psalm 119:68

You are good, and what you do is good; 

teach me your decrees.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

 

Photo credit: charlottesiems.com

 

God’s love is not more or less

love, MS, Uncategorized

For some reason I tend to have a wrong way of thinking sometimes that God’s love for me is measured by my circumstances. Today is day NINE. Nine good days in a row and I am celebrating!!! Since the beginning of September, I’ve had more physically bad days than good with weird neurological/auto-immune symptoms that look like MS. I detest clichés, but they are cliché because they are true; so bear with me on the following statement: We don’t really appreciate good health until we don’t have it. Right now, I truly appreciate good health.

God loves me just as much on my bad physical days as He does on these good ones. God’s love for me on my wallowing-in-self-pity-ugly-cry-days is not an iota more or less than on a great day like today. Today I power-walked around neighborhood lakes. It was glorious! However, I am reminding myself of this truth: God’s favor and love for me today is no greater than on my days when I could do nothing but lay there on the couch.

God is love. He is always love and always good. The depth of His love and concern for me is never dependent on my circumstances.

Wal-Mart beauty queen

MS

Today I began a three-day ambulatory EEG. That means my brainwaves are being monitored 24/7 for a few days, and I look like this:

Wow!

It’s really sort of fascinating…There are loads of thingamabobs attached to my scalp, a couple on my collar bones, and wires coming from all of them. The white thing I’m holding are all of the wires wrapped all pretty in white cloth.

I can be really vain, but boy, I realized this today on a different level. I realized that I had nothing of substance for lunch or dinner….AFTER I had all of this stuff attached to me. Therefore I went to Wal-Mart. I was really nervous and took a picture of myself on my phone, then sent to a friend to ask if I looked too much like a freak to enter a store. Her response was, “Silly, Biore’ strips go on your nose.”  Yeah, she’s pretty funny!  I don’t know what this says about Wal-Mart, but no one even gave me a second glance when I walked through for 20 minutes looking like this:

It was kind of liberating! I thought that I would stay in my house for three days as a hermit, to avoid being seen. It was great! People still ignored me or smiled at me as usual. No big deal, walking through the store with a bandaged scalp. I felt like a radiant beauty queen at my local Wal-Mart. And now we have dinner to boot.

This is part of the diagnostic jumping through hoops to figure out if I have MS or seizures, or some kind of weird migraines. I’m excited to find out the results!

Here I am with jazz hands